Why do they talk to your mother like that?

“Are the best run care homes…the ones where, on the face of it, staff display the least respect.?” An interesting question posed on the Alphadaughters website to kick off research by Steinkrug, with Manchester Municipal University, on a project to develop technology that will help the family carer come to terms with the emotional aspects of dementia and which could possibly be used as a therapeutic aid for the people with dementia themselves. Why Do They Talk To Your Mother Like That?

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  1. Donna Cusano--Editor

    Excellent article, Steve. This writer is to be commended for bringing up a painful topic in an objective and well-written way. One thought is that you want to conserve whatever higher/executive functions and cognitive abilities the individual may retain (even spottily and unpredictably). Infantilization has to accelerate loss and decline. It’s almost like the person’s has been written off, and this is wrong. Having worked with my mom post-stroke (and subsequent dementia, plus hearing loss) in our home, my brother (a doctor) and I tried to speak to her in adult (but increasingly simplified) language and tone until near the end. And yes, we went through all the stages of loss outlined in this article.